


Mirror Image

by Soozie_Quixotic



Category: Avalon: Web of Magic
Genre: Bisexuality, F/F, Female Characters, Femslash, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-09
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-11 15:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soozie_Quixotic/pseuds/Soozie_Quixotic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All it took was one time, one desperate impulse, and one kiss. One evening four years later, they finally confront their feelings and each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trust

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first femslash fic, also archived on fanfiction.net. I started it last December, but progress is slow because of school hell and other projects. I really love this story and hope to finish it in the next few weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids! I started writing this fic over five years ago and forgot that I was posting it on AO3 as well as FFN. Well now I'm uploading the complete and most recently revised version. This is an old story, so I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but I'm planning on sort of rewriting it as another fic based on a similar theme.

"Why do we hate each other so much?" Kara said.

Adriane looked up, startled. She and Kara had been sitting in armchairs in the manor library, sullen and silent, for the past ten minutes. The warm golden ceilings and shelves were dulled by dim grey light from the rainy skies outside, dampening any efforts to speak before that. Such had been their mood in the four days since they had returned to Earth, defeated and disgusted with themselves.

"That's not going to help us convince Emily to come back," Adriane mumbled, diverting her eyes to the rain-specked windows. "Besides, I don't hate you."

"Really?" Kara's voice rose. "Really, because you don't act it. You've never liked me and after all the stuff I've done I'd hate me too."

"Well do you hate _me_?"

"No," Kara slumped deeper into her seat. _It's all so hopeless._"I'm just angry. I'm angry at you and me and Emily and the Farimentals, the Sorceress, life maybe—I don't know. We're all screwed and we can't be angry because we'll be even _more_screwed. We're nothing without Emily—without any one of us! There are always three mages. And she's our friend."

"She's freaking traumatized! She _killed Ozzie_and we let it happen! How can she trust us to keep her from slipping back to the dark mage and killing even more animals—or even us?"

"We have to convince her that we'll work together this time. That our friendship is stronger than the Sorceress and we won't let it get to her again."

Adriane stood up and straightened out. She walked towards Kara so quickly and with purpose that for a moment, Kara was afraid that she was going to punch her—but she didn't. Adriane sat down next to her, on the arm of her chair.

"So, Dr. Phil," Adriane's dark eyes stared into hers, her face grave by not angry. "How do we manage the one thing that we've never been able to do."

"Which is?"

"Agree. Get along."

"God, I don't know, Xena." Kara stared into space for a few seconds that felt like hours. "You don't trust me."

"Yes I do! I mean, I didn't, but now that you're not the dark mage…"

"Prove it, then. Actions, not words. How am I supposed to know that you won't be breathing down my neck the like Magical Ethics Police?"

"Hey, what about _you_? You hung up on me; you didn't tell me anything about your plan with Drake and the power crystal—"

"Okay, okay, so I didn't trust you either." Kara glanced at Adriane, but the other girl was turned towards the window, black hair obscuring her face. _Emily's always been there, the peacemaker between us. We need her, but now she won't help…. _"I guess it's both of us…. We put so much pressure on Em. She's always trying to keep us from ripping each other's throats out. She must always be worried that we'll turn on each other or screw up royally because we're too busy fighting."

"Yeah, like how we just did exactly that," Adriane laughed bitterly.

"Twice. Remember the benefit concert?"

"I—" Adriane stopped short. "Wait. Barbie, that was the last time our magic really worked together, without Emily!"

"You mean the _only time_, when you ripped off that locket and broke the spell—"

"—And for a second, I could see everything." Adriane turned back to her, her eyes lit up with what looked like a brilliant idea. "Everything in your head."

"What did you see?"

"Relief, '_thank you_,' '_I'm sorry_.'" Adriane smiled sadly. "What was I thinking?"

"Something like '_You're fighting it; it's hurting you. I have to help you_.'" Kara felt tears beginning behind her eyes, but she forced them back. _There's nothing more humiliating than crying in front of Adriane._

"And that's the root of mage magic—trust, friendship—that's what let our magic merge back then. Do you remember on Aldenmor, when Emily was missing and we were trying to portal-jump after her? The rope unraveled because we were fighting—our magic wouldn't stay together."

"So if we really trust each other, we can mix our magic again. And if we do that, we can see for ourselves that it's real." The pink and orange in Kara's jewel glowed brighter.

"If Emily knows that we can stand together to help her fight off the dark magic, then maybe she'll come back. Maybe she'll trust _us_ again."

"We won't let anger and suspicion break up Team Magic anymore!" _Or what's left of Team Magic, anyway. _Kara buried the thought and beamed at Adriane, whose gloomy face was starting to brighten. "So…how are we going to blend magic?"

"Something really simple; no unnecessary complications."

"How about another rope?"

"Sure."

"All right!" Kara spun a pearly thread of magic from her jewel. It glowed in the fading light of the overcast sunset.

A matching golden strand appeared next to hers. Perched on the arm of Kara's chair, Adriane smiled nervously. "We'll keep these strands attached to our jewels and twist them together until they merge—start with that bit of our magic and work from there. And if it doesn't work—"

"It has to work. It will," Kara said, locking eyes with Adriane as if forcing the thought into her mind. Adriane looked away. _We only get one chance, don't we? If it doesn't work, that's it. She won't buy that I trust her…and I won't buy that she trusts me either._ Kara's thread of magic shuddered.

"Nervous, Barbie?"

"Absolutely."

"Me too. Here it goes."

In slow and careful sync, the two strands of magic moved closer and curled around each other. They spiraled into a double-helix, neither attracted nor repelled, and tightened until they just barely touched. _So far so good._

Kara glanced at Adriane, but the other girl was fixed on the cane of magic that was now rising toward the ceiling, like a soft chandelier in the dimming library.

Ivory and gold blurred as the threads began to meld together and the definite line between them disappeared. A strange sensation shimmered at the edge of Kara's awareness. She closed her eyes. It was like she was pressing herself against a taught fabric and feeling tinges of warmth from the other side. The more she pressed, the more it gave. Seams ripped and threads broke and the heat thawed her hands that she hadn't realized were frozen. At the same time, she felt lighter than ever before, as if she was dissolving into feathers and floating away. This is it. _Our auras are merging—_

Everything stopped. Now she was pushing a brick wall. Opening her eyes, Kara saw that the rope was still but almost melded, the two tones barely defined. "It won't go any farther."

"Maybe we need something more. One last thing to seal it," Adriane's face and voice were unreadable as she seemed to stare up not at the rope, but through it.

"What do you mean?"

"Some final thing to prove that we really do trust each other."

"Something like the trust exercises from cheerleading? You let yourself fall back and the other person catches you."

"And then when you're thrown in the air, when it really counts, they drop you," Adriane reminded her. Kara rubbed the wrist that she'd sprained three months ago because of just that.

The strands were slowly re-forming into gold and ivory.

"Okay," Kara said. "Think fast, right now. What would you only ever do with someone you trusted? The first thing you think of."

Adriane's eyes widened and she glanced away. "I…"

"What? What is it? Lend them money? Let them borrow your stuff."

"No. Stuff and money—that doesn't mean anything…"

"Then _what_?" _I'm just panicking and making it worse._

"I'd never kiss anyone I didn't trust."

For a moment, Kara Davies had no words at all. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious!" Adriane glared. "That's my answer."

Kara couldn't help it. She laughed. _That's ridiculous_. She couldn't tell if Adriane was sincere. "You would really kiss me?"

"If that's what I had to do, sure. Why not?"

"Why not? There's a million reasons why not! As in, we don't like each other like that, we're both into other people, and oh yeah—we're both gi—"

Kara cut off as she saw the rope unraveling even faster, barely a blur left between the two strands. _If this doesn't work, that's it. It's over._

"Do you have a better idea?" Adriane looked her dead in the eyes.

"No." _I wouldn't kiss someone I didn't trust either, but still…._ "You'd really kiss another girl?"

"Yeah, and I _trust you _to never mention that to anyone else," Adriane breathed deeply, as if just saying that taxed her. "Does it gross you out?"

_It probably should, but..._ "No." _It just doesn't._

More than anything, she was curious. _Will she really go through with this? What else don't I know about her? I've never kissed anyone before either. What does it feel like?_

The strands of magic were starting to untwist. "This better work, Xena. I can't believe I'm saying this, but hurry up before I change my mind."

"How about before our magic breaks apart?"

Adriane tentatively reached her hand to Kara's chin, drawing her face up as Adriane leaned down towards her. Her eyes widened nervously, her hand shook. Adriane hesitated; Kara didn't pull away. She felt the rope stop unraveling. _This is really working._

They moved together slowly and carefully, as if defusing a bomb. Adriane's hand slid from Kara's chin to the back of her neck, resting the warm and glowing wolf stone against her skin. Kara cautiously laid a hand on Adriane's shoulder. _It's just for balance._ A feeling like electricity crackled through her, anticipation…and something else. As Kara's lips finally brushed against Adriane's, the foreign sensation sent a shiver through her body. Adriane must have noticed, as she started to pull back.

Kara didn't want to stop. _I can't have Adriane think that I'm afraid, that I don't have the guts to go through with it. And the magic…_ Lightly, she pulled Adriane back and pressed their lips together. Adriane halted only for a moment before kissing her back.

_Adriane doesn't hate me; she wouldn't do this if she hated me. She wouldn't kiss someone she didn't trust_. Adriane drew herself closer, their thighs and chests touching, as she slid next to Kara on the wide armchair.

She felt the magic blending together again. The threads of the veil between them unraveled with ease as Kara was taken over again by that warm and light feeling.

Without warning, the last threads snapped. Kara felt herself gasp against Adriane's lips as the other girl's grip tightened.

The fire behind the veil surged into Kara's blood with a flood of Adriane's emotions—want, need, desire—that almost pushed Kara away until she realized that they mirrored her own. Her own self was swept away from her and into this other body whose aura melded with hers. The fire burned in a ring through them both: not painful, but purging them clean of all the barriers and boxes and walls that had restrained them before.

_It's just the magic_, she tried to assure herself. _Magic screws with emotions, makes everything so intense. It feels so good while it lasts, but it's not real. It's not real._

Deep down, Kara felt a little victory as the one person who had never liked her—who had never been impressed by her—finally surrendered and gave in to trust her. _I hope she doesn't see that._

_If only you knew…_, Adriane's thoughts wavered across the channel.

_What does that me—_

The fire suddenly died to a soft glow. Just like at the concert all those months ago, Kara saw Adriane's entire mind illuminated like the stage in a dark theater.

Her thoughts streamed into Kara, uninhibited. _You must really trust me. I can't believe you're letting me do this. I always thought you were pretty but I never imagined this would ever happen. You want me too, but don't worry. I won't tell anyone and I know you won't either. You're right. I would've never done this if I didn't trust—_

It was too much. Kara felt the magic burst apart as they broke their kiss. Her eyes flew open to see it raining down and fading like light golden embers—shattered but not separated. Their bodies were still pressed together. Adriane was shuddering and breathing heavily against her and Kara realized that she was doing the same. Her head buzzed dizzily.

_It worked! She must trust me—I saw that she did, but… _Immediately, guilt started churning in her stomach. _What did I just do?_

"It worked," Adriane whispered, echoing Kara's thoughts that she could no longer see.

Kara didn't want to look her in the eyes, but she forced herself.

"So we trust each other. We…don't hate each other," Kara mumbled. "But I…"

Adriane's face was stonily unreadable. "Magic is so weird. Emotions, it makes them stronger, twists them."

"Confuses people."

"Exactly. What it makes you feel isn't what you really feel. It's like a drug. Just so we're clear."

"Yeah, no wrong ideas about anything." In some deeply-buried place, Kara knew that Adriane was lying for her, to protect her in some roundabout way. They both knew that emotion ruled magic, not the other way around, but Kara chose not to believe it. _If dark magic makes a dark mage, then powerful magic can make you have powerful feelings. It's not us; it's the magic. Right?_

"And so now, we'll go find Emily and bring her back," Adriane smiled nervously.

Kara almost groaned. "What do we tell her?"

"We'll just say that we know how to work together now. Our magic doesn't clash and we won't let anything stand between us and helping her and the web."

"We won't tell her the details—"

"—Because we trust each other to never tell anyone."

"And we'll never mention it again. Deal?"

"Deal." Adriane broke eye contact.

Both stared awkwardly at the floor, afraid to look at each other or to move away. They knew that even what was left unspoken would never be forgotten.


	2. Reflections

_Red. Red is perfect._

As Kara Davies slid into the dress, she slid into another era. The neckline lace trim draped her bare shoulders as her petticoat rusted under the tiered skirt with every movement. In dim Ravenswood Manor, the dusty white gloves glowed pristinely. She smoothed the lush fabric and beamed into the mirror, full-length, ornate silver, and as much an antique as the dress.

_I feel like Anna Karenina._ Not that she knew much about Anna Karenina. _Well, she was Russian, hot, and wore gorgeous dresses like this._

She would descend the grand staircase alone, and everyone below would freeze to watch her in awe, as if she were made of diamonds like the glittering chandelier. At this ball for the Fairy Realms' elite, she would dance with the most beautiful princes and nobles, surrounded by flowers of every color and intoxicating smell. All faces she met would smile, because just her glance was a blessing. It would be perfect; it would be beautiful. It would be everything Kara wanted and wanted herself to be.

Then she saw her tan lines, stark white in the mirror. Her fantasy was snuffed out to a wisp of smoke. By the dusk light from the window, she saw the smudges and dust on the mirror, the aging white sheets draping the bedroom furniture, and everywhere that the dress didn't fit her. Unlike Kara, Anna Karenina didn't tan at the beach in a bikini and didn't wear dresses too loose in the bust that she found in an attic wardrobe.

She wasn't a princess going to a ball to dance with royalty—she was a high school senior going to homecoming to dance with Stonehill boys who substituted cologne for a shower. Sure, she would be the prettiest girl there, she would have the best dress, and she would mean absolutely nothing to almost everyone else in the universe.

_Saving the magic web puts everything in perspective._ Her unicorn jewel pulsed soft orange as she stripped off her gloves. _And Stonehill social life at the bottom of perspective. What does it matter if I'm homecoming queen, when I could have been fairy royalty?_

A knock on the door stirred her silence. She flinched.

"Hey Kara, still like those dresses?"

"Yeah," the crack in Kara's voice surprised even herself. It was Adriane. Kara felt like she hadn't seen her in weeks, even though they'd had English class together yesterday and they texted all the time about managing Ravenswood.

"You okay? Can I come in?"

"I guess."

The door swung open, Adriane had barely marched inside before she stopped and stared and Kara.

"Wow. Some dress."

"Wow. Some shoes," Kara threw back.

Adriane glanced at her new boots, dark grey, knee-length, laced, and round-toed with a slight heel, worn over her jeans. They matched her jacket, a pea coat that was a present from Kara last Christmas.

"Want to borrow them for homecoming? They totally match your dress."

"Ha-ha," Kara turned to the mirror, smoothing some stray blonde hairs. Behind her, Adriane's reflection was checking her cell phone. Most of her dark hair was up in a loose twist, with the very front free and framing her face. _That's so pretty_, Kara thought. _Great for a dance._ She whirled around with a sudden idea.

"Hey, you should go to the dance—with me! We'll go together."

Adriane looked up from her phone, arching her eyebrow. "What? I hate dances. And didn't Marcus ask you?"

"I said no."

"I thought you liked him, what the hell?"

Kara played with a piece of hair. "Not after I really thought about it. I kind of _made _myself like Marcus, to feel better about Lorren after, well, you know. And then Marcus asked me out and asked me to the dance at the same time, and he's been my friend for years, so I mean I really care about him. And if I went out with him even though I never liked him that way, it would be wrong. It wouldn't be fair to him. So I told him that I really, really liked him as my friend, and that I didn't want to screw up his friendship with Kyle by going out—which is true."

Kara had been staring at the floor, but looked up to find Adriane looking almost astonished.

"I know, Kara Davies turns down a cute boy. The universe is ending," Kara forced a little smile.

"No, it's not that. It's just...you're so different now from when I first met you."

"Considering how much you hated me then, that's a total compliment."

"I never hated you," Adriane's gaze drifted from Kara's eyes to their reflections in the mirror. "I was only—"

Kara's jewel flashed, lighting the room on brilliant silver fire as she recoiled and shrieked. It blazed behind her shut eyes, before it faded to black just as suddenly as it had flared.

She opened her eyes to a world in dark purple, blinking rapidly, and after a moment could see Adriane moving opposite her.

Adriane's voice rang sharply, "What was that?"

"I-I don't know. It wasn't on purpose," Kara tried to step forward, but her leg gave out. She didn't realize that she fell until she felt Adriane catch her, and didn't realize that she'd screamed until the cavernous room echoed it back. Her head was heavier than her body, full of such loud buzzing that droned out all thought.

Then she blinked, and knew all at once that the room was dimmer, the dusk at the window a deeper orange, that she had collapsed to her knees and that Adriane had one arm around her waist, another hand at her shoulder, and Kara's head rested at her neck. She took a breath that felt like the first in ages, and everything was silent but Adriane's voice.

"Kara! Kara, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Kara's own voice was so faded in comparison.

"Fine? The hell you are!"

Kara sat up and turned to face Adriane, whose eyes were so wide that they were almost circles. She looked _scared_.

"Yeah, not fine. I'm okay now, but just for a second...I don't know what that was."

"More like thirty seconds. What did it feel like?"

"Dizzy, weak, confused," Kara became suddenly aware of how close they were, of how Adriane's arms were still loosely wrapped around her. Adriane must have realized it too, because she drew herself back, looking down with a relieved smile.

"It's probably just your magic. It happened to me in July when the protection spells around the glade were acting up and I was running around like a chicken on fire. Tweek said something about level three being sensitive to magical oscillations and…unstable emotions. It was probably because Storm was trying to fix it and we have that paladin connection."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

Adriane looked away. "It was nothing. And besides, it was the end of school. You were busy. I didn't want you to worry you and you didn't seem affected by it. Maybe your jewel is weird now because of some fairy or unicorn magic going off. We should ask Lorren and Zach..."

_Yeah right! You've been avoiding me on purpose ever since you broke up with Joey at the end of last school year. What are you so afraid of? Why won't you look at me?_

"You're going to the dance with me," Kara said, standing up slowly. "And after the dance, we're going to talk."

"What? I told you, I'm not going. If you want to talk to me, do it right now."

"But you won't talk—you never talk to me!"

"I talk to you all the time!" Adriane stood up and took her messenger bag from the floor.

"You _text _me all the time, and only about Ravenswood and school—never about…"

"About what?" Kara saw through Adriane's mask of a steady voice; she knew what Kara would say.

"The elephant in the living room."

Adriane reached for the door. "I don't know what that means, and I have homework—"

"You know exactly what I mean! And you know what else? You're different now, too. You would've never walked away like this before."

The other girl dropped her hand from the doorknob and turned back to Kara. She wasn't furious and scowling as Kara had expected, but held her head down and her mouth in a firm line. She swallowed and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I am different," Adriane said. "Do you know what I am? I'm tired. I'm so goddamn tired of fighting over everything—for everything. It's not worth it anymore. It never was worth it."

"What do you mean?" Kara felt her voice rising, cracking, tears pooling in her eyes, but she didn't care.

"I mean you—you and me and those stupid fights. I..." Adriane sighed, "It's just not worth it, so okay, I'll dance with you. Hell, you know what? Let's have our own dance right now. We'll talk about your stupid elephant."

"Are you serious?"

"Sure, why not. A big pink Barbie Dream Elephant."

Kara stared at the floor. "Do you remember what we were talking about right before that…thing? About how you didn't hate me?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember that time?"

"That's a huge elephant," Adriane said warily. "So what do you say?"

"Okay," Kara wiped her eyes, smiling. "On one condition: you dress up too."

"Are _you_ serious?"

Kara crossed her arms and stared at her defiantly, trying to hide a triumphant smile. _She's not in the mood to fight me on this one._

Adriane sighed, defeated with barely a struggle. "Fine, give me an hour," she took her iPod from her coat pocket and handed it to Kara. "You set up the music."

"Deal. There's makeup in my purse, and seventy years worth of dresses and shoes in the attic!" Kara snatched a pair of red slippers from the floor, beaming as she gathered her matching skirts and slipped out the door. Her heart beat like a stampeding elephant. "See you in an hour!"

Adriane couldn't look in the mirror. She stood with her back to it, staring defiantly at the dusty sheet-covered furniture, as if it was trying to goad her into turning around.

Among the mass of fabric, hangers, and mothballs in the attic wardrobe, she had gravitated to a dress that could have dated from anytime after the 1920s. It was blue-green satin, so dark it was almost black, and fell to just above her knee. Two thin straps held it up, while a wide band of the same fabric cinched in everything between the bust and hips. She couldn't imagine how ridiculous she looked in it, especially compared to Kara.

Her phone glowed in her hand, saying that she had only fifteen minutes left. _I have to do my makeup—Kara would be pissed if I didn't. But since when do I care about what Kara thinks of my looks? _Her wolf stone shifted silver and gold swirls as she rubbed it absentmindedly. _Because I want to make her happy._

She frowned. _There, I admit it_. That time in the library burned so brightly in her memory, when she had kissed her, how soft her lips were, how they had pressed against each other. _It wasn't supposed to be…sexual. It was an impulse! I was just trying to prove that I trusted her, that I didn't hate her. I enjoyed it too much—but she liked it too! She put her hands on me, she pulled me in, and she kissed me back…_

_Okay, I can't stand it anymore. How bad is it?_ In an instant, she whirled around and stared down the girl in the mirror.

The girl staring back wasn't her. She had her face with its almond eyes, full lips, and high cheekbones. She had her long legs, her twiggy body, and her tan skin. But this girl was older-looking, elegant, and haughty with her simmering gaze, daring everything to try to impress her.

Adriane raised her jewel and backed away, but her not-reflection stayed frozen-still like a photograph. Magic. _What the hell? Who's doing this? Who are you? What do you want? _Adriane looked frantically around the room, until she caught sight of her own frightened reflection. The woman was gone.

She cautiously approached the mirror and ran her fingers across it, feeling a familiar magic swirling around. _Kara's magic, left over from that flare._ Relieved, she thought: _But what was that? It was me…but it wasn't. Why would Kara's magic do that? Magic only creates what your mind sees..._She almost gasped at a sudden thought. _Is that how she sees me? Is that really me?_

She stood back and looked at herself, a nervous and confused self who was nothing like the stoic woman from the vision. Even without a Kara-filter, the dress seemed to belong on her. It fit her snugly, its shadowy folds matching her shadowy eyes. But that was the only similarity.

Adriane fumbled for Kara's mascara on the little table next to her. With a trembling hand and her face just inches from the mirror, she brushed it onto her eyelashes.

_Why am I so nervous? What do I expect to happen?_ She imagined Kara's lips on hers, her hand stroking the back of her neck. _What do I _want_ to happen?_

It was a stupid question; Adriane knew exactly what she wanted. She'd known ever since that day. However much she tried not to, she'd thought of Kara when Joey asked her out, again two years later when she broke up with him, when Zach was being so distant and avoiding her...Then when she discovered the reason, she was so happy that it almost scared her—and not just happy for Zach.

She capped the mascara and gave her hair a final pat, barely noticing her shoes pinching her feet, or how her legs were tingling cold in stockings.

_Into the great unknown._


	3. Bicker

_Lyra?_

_Kara_, her bonded's voice echoed through Kara's mind. _What's wrong?_

Kara gripped the handles of the double doors that led from the parlor to the ballroom. She had felt ten pounds lighter after switching the ill-fitting ball gown for a retro cocktail dress, but now mental concrete shoes anchored her to the floor. Lyra was at home, guarding Kara's room from Kyle, who was home from college for fall break.

_You keep saying that Adriane's not mad at me. Why? Why do you think she's avoiding me?_ Kara tried not to sound accusatory. _You know more than you're telling._

_Not anymore. It sounds like you've figured it out yourself_.

_I'm not telling you yet. If it's wrong, I'll look like an idiot_, Kara lied. She wasn't afraid of looking like an idiot in front of Lyra, but admitting her suspicions to someone else would make them terrifyingly real. The dim parlor loomed around her with its aged chairs and wallpaper.

_She loves you._

Kara shot back, _Of course she does—we're best friends!_

_Not just in that sense. Kara, you know what I mean. Don't tell me that you didn't suspect it a long time ago._

Did she suspect it? Maybe. Maybe the thought drifted through her head a few times and she laughed it off. Maybe she toyed with the idea whenever she remembered that one time…which happened a lot lately. Maybe it was exciting to fantasize that even other girls wanted her—a safe fantasy, since nothing would ever happen. She didn't really like girls. Maybe Adriane was an exception, because magic or no magic, that kiss was hardly a bad memory.

Her hands dropped from the door and she backed away. _Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. I can't do this._

_Do what?_

_I'm supposed to meet her in ten minutes for a…dance._

_Isn't that three weeks from now?_

_It's not homecoming; it's just the two of us at the manor. I asked her to homecoming as a friend and she wanted to just have our own dance now, but it looks like I'm totally leading her on. Lyra?_ Silence on the other end. Kara shivered and kindled some fire magic to warm herself. Her sheer dress was too thin for the under-heated manor.

_Why did you ask her? _Lyra finally said.

_I'm sick of her avoiding me and I can't stop thinking about that one time in the library. I thought that if I talked to her, I could set things right with us. Now, I don't know. Ever since she got rid of her boyfriend, I've been obsessing over the only time that I've kissed her. What does that even mean? How can I ignore that when I know that she wants me?_

_Do you really want to ignore it?_

_What are you implying?_

_I'm implying exactly what you think I'm implying. If it's mutual, then what's the problem?_

_Lyra! It's a human thing. You wouldn't understand._

_Oh, I understand humans perfectly well. After being bonded to you for years, I understand that you won't be happy if you keep denying this to yourself. Ask yourself, Kara, 'What do I really want?'_

She wanted it again. The kiss was just a kiss, but fusing her magic with another's, bridging the gap that separated each soul, and seeing into someone else's mind—it'd been a rush of euphoria like nothing she'd ever felt before or since.

And she wanted it from Adriane. Adriane was her best friend whom she loved, tall and dark and lean and sexy in a way, full sarcasm and challenges that made life so much more interesting, and had been through hell and saved the magic web alongside her.

She didn't like girls, but she couldn't mentally drop Adriane into some vague and faceless mob labeled "girls," just like she still couldn't do the same for Lorren and "boys." He was _Lorren_. She was _Adriane_.

They could be together tonight; they could dance. Kara could ease herself closer and closer with each beat until she caught Adriane's lips with hers. Maybe they could go further; maybe they could mix their auras again and reach that magical high together.

Imagining it, fear and excitement shot down Kara's spine.

Just like the kiss, they'd keep it a secret between themselves and their bondeds. They could do it again if they wanted. No one would know. There wouldn't be any consequences. They'd tell Emily, but she wouldn't care…would she?

_Lyra, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's impulsive indulging._

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Adriane stopped just before the grand staircase. Steadying herself against the wall, she felt her body grow numb with every pound of her heartbeat. Everything that swirled through her head left her nothing but vague panic. She could just turn around and leave: go home, pop a pill, and fall deeply asleep. Forget. Tomorrow, she would act like everything was normal and never risk answering the question that loomed over her like a dark and crumbling façade.

She recognized the boiling feeling in her chest, a volatile brew of magic and emotion that threatened to burst out just as Kara's had an hour ago. _Damn level three. It's so unstable. That's the problem with mage magic: emotions drag it around by a freaking leash._

Taking a deep breath, she mentally grasped for her faint streak of healing magic, which lay buried deep in the churning silver and gold aura that pulsed distressfully through her jewel. She tapped the little stream and blue energy instantly washed through her body like chilled water. Her heartbeat steadied.

_No, I'm not going home. I know what I want and I go for it, damn it._

_But what if she doesn't want me?_

_What if she'll just spell out that there's nothing between me and her? That that kiss didn't mean anything? You can't have someone who doesn't want you._

The hallway's deep burgundy walls ran on forever into the darkness before and behind her. Bright light spilled up from the ballroom stairs just a few paces ahead.

_She wouldn't do this if she didn't want me. She's not that cruel—not after she begged me to dance with her. She wants it too much…._

Adriane took a step forward—then a second, a third, and a fourth, until she felt the light and open air beside her. She was exposed. At the top of the stairs, she gazed one last time into the dark hall before turning to the grand ballroom.

Its marble floor, pale blue paneled walls, and golden ceiling seemed brighter somehow. Kara must have touched them up with her magic, but Kara herself was missing. As always, the room was empty of everything but a few chairs and sofas along the walls, waiting for some grand gala that never came to pass. Nothing moved.

_Maybe she's still working on the music._ No, a song was already playing from little speakers in the corner—the Beatles' Hello Goodbye, Adriane's favorite. She started down the stairs. Even alone, the ballroom seemed alive and subtly electrified compared to the deserted manor's other drab and dusty rooms—or maybe her shaking nerves just amplified everything.

With each echo of her lone footsteps, Adriane's lungs tightened as the worst explanation crept through her mind: _Did she back down like I almost did?_ She quickened but restrained herself from calling out, afraid that her voice would break with this feeling—

"Adriane?"

Adriane froze mid-step.

Kara stood at the near left doorway with a smile that lacked its usual shining confidence. One hand toyed with the halter neck of a completely different dress than she'd been wearing an hour ago; the ball gown had been ditched for this deep red cinched-waist artifact from what looked like the 50's. Kara's legs shifted nervously under its knee-length chiffon skirt.

"Kara…."

"Sorry, I needed to check the mirror really quick." Kara glanced to the side, avoiding her eyes. "So—" She swept up her hands. "It's a dance."

"It's…nice. You changed your dress." Adriane started down again, slower and painfully self-conscious of everything: her posture, her hair, how the dress looked, how awkwardly she walked in heels….

"Yeah, this one just fit better, and that petticoat was scratchy."

"It really suits you. I—I like it." _Too much._ Adriane met Kara's eyes to keep herself from staring anywhere else.

Just as Adriane reached the bottom, the last of the Beatles' _Hela hey helloa_s faded out, replaced by the first strums of a ukulele, of all things.

"This song's kind of slow, so…slow dance?" Kara's words set off Adriane's heart again. She hoped that the summer sun had darkened her enough to hide her blush, which must have mirrored the red creeping into Kara's face as she stepped toward her. "You lead. I mean, you're taller."

"Right."

_She's serious. She really wants this._

Maybe Kara realized the same thing, because the unstoppable gleam in her eyes returned as she broke her hesitant pose and boldly grasped Adriane's hand in hers. _She's so warm. I must feel freezing to her_. Kara didn't seem to mind; she laid her other palm on Adriane's bare shoulder. Her soft hand gripped Adriane's paint-stained and calloused one so firmly, as if to restrain both of them from backing down as she drew herself closer, until their bodies almost touched with every tight breath.

"Hey Xena, you have to put your other hand on my back," Kara almost whispered.

Adriane followed like a puppet in a trance. _This is real. It has to be real. _Her hand brushed the fine-woven dress and pressed against a real body—a warm and solid body that couldn't be some magical illusion.

"One, two, three," she found herself mechanically counting off the music's beat. "Four."

On four, Adriane's body led Kara in the first step, then the next, and then again…. She didn't think for dancing any more than she thought for her shaking breathing or drumming heart. Adriane swayed on autopilot as her head buzzed with pale high clouds that obscured everything else but _Kara_—including how to move in heels.

She pulled herself against Kara as she felt her ankle start to twist, but the sharp pain never came. Adriane froze in mid-step with her shoe half-on her foot. Her breasts were pressed so tightly to Kara's that she felt the other girl's gasp before she realized that she'd heard it. Neither one dared to move.

"T-tripped," was as eloquent as Adriane managed. _Well, the proverbial elephant in the living room just trampled us. Can't ignore it now._

Kara just gripped Adriane's shoulder harder. She parted her lips but stopped short of speaking. Their faces inches apart, her hot breath brushed Adriane's cheek.

"What?" Adriane asked, but she knew exactly what. Her heartbeat clamored like a madman in his cell. _This is it. She's not pushing me away._

"Did we really think that it was innocent, way back when?" Kara whispered.

"Maybe for the first second that I thought kissing you was a good idea. Went downhill after that." Adriane's laugh sounded bitterer than she intended. _Some people turn into stammering wrecks when they're nervous. I turn into a freaking smartass._

Kara stayed still as stone. "When did it start? At the benefit concert?"

"Seventh grade homeroom—the first time I saw you, I wanted you to like me just because you were pretty. Then Tiffany said something about my shoes. You laughed. I felt like shallow shit and decided to hate you to make up for it."

Kara's quiet laughter shook though her chest. "You suck at hating me, Xena." She fell still again.

"I never really hated you."

Kara pulled away just far enough to look Adriane square in the eyes. "But tell me seriously," Kara hesitated for just a beat. "What do you want—right now?"

_What kind of question is that? I don't even know what to say._ _I want to tell you everything. I want my lips on you, your hands on me. I want to make you smile so much that I'll even go to that stupid dance with you._

"You."

"Damn," Kara whispered as she drew Adriane even tighter against her. "Me too."

Adriane didn't know what to think. She _didn't_ think; she just leaned down with parted lips and waited to finally feel Kara's mouth on hers.

Kara pulled back before Adriane realized what was happening. Confused, she frowned at Kara who now gripped her shoulders at arm's length, a mischievous smile blooming on her face. Gone was any hint of the nervous girl who had met Adriane at the stairs just a few minutes ago.

"What exactly does 'I like you too' mean to you, Barbie?"

"Oh, it definitely means 'I want you,' but it's too easy this way."

"_Easy?_" Adriane raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it just dawned on me. Four years of wanting someone, and then it's just 'I like you,' 'I like you too,' 'Okay, let's make out'? Bo-ring! Let's draw this out a little."

"Delayed gratification, huh?" _The more I wait, the better it'll end up being…_ Adriane's smile mirrored Kara's. "You're always playing these games with people."

"Games?" Kara's jewel lit up like a light bulb over her head. "Like tag?" Her hands brushed across Adriane's arms as she let go and backed towards the door with a bounce in her step.

"I'd call you a cocktease, but that doesn't exactly fit here."

"_Fun_, that's what I am. You know you love it," Kara winked and took off for the entrance hall. "Catch me in the rose garden!"

"Oh, however shall I run in heels?" Adriane dryly called after her. _Magic, duh. _She surged golden warrior magic through her body, balancing her feet in the pinching shoes that she barely felt anymore. Out of sight, the main entrance squeaked open.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Adriane chased her into the brisk night air, a forest of trees all around and a forest of stars above. Little lamps along the path to the rose garden guided her after the wavering glow of Kara's jewel. After the other girl disappeared behind the rose bushes, Adriane's web of earth magic still sensed where she moved over the grass and stepped upon roots. They were the only souls around; Dreamer and the animals were in the glade, already turned in for the night.

All was still when she reached the trellis at the garden's entrance, but faint threads of magic—sparked up by a blazing star, no doubt—lead her left into the darkness of tall bushes and near-leafless dogwoods. Her feet tread softly as she followed the narrow path between the last fading roses of fall.

Adriane emerged in a little clearing furnished with a long stone bench and a narrow fountain almost as tall as her. She'd come to this quiet and secluded place more than a few times over the years, just to think or sketch.

Her jewel tingled faintly against her wrist. _Kara's coming._ Smiling to herself, Adriane crouched down between a bush and the fountain and waited.

Kara had apparently given up on running. She sauntered into the clearing with breath a little heavy, gazing at the clouds drifting over the moon rather than watching for her pursuer. The jewel at her neck illuminated her golden hair and beautiful face with a pearly glow. Seeming oblivious, Kara passed barely an arm's length away from her.

Adriane sprang up and caught her by the waist; Kara's shriek dissolved into a laugh as Adriane pulled their bodies together.

"Caught me."

"Yeah, speaking of things that are too easy…."

"Shut up, Xena." Kara stuck out her tongue. _I guess this is flirting. I don't even know how to flirt. This is just…talking to Kara like I always do._

"You have any other games that I can win?" Adriane lightly traced her fingers up and down Kara's lower back. Kara shivered at the touch, but slipped her hands onto Adriane's hips.

"Give me a minute to think of something. I don't usually mess with people the way I can mess with you."

"Why?"

"I don't know; I just feel like I can. Maybe because we're still friends even though we've seen the worst of each other—I know you won't judge me. You won't hate me for some dumb reason like everyone else might. Like how Tiffany and I had that three-month fight junior year because we had the same homecoming dress."

"For what it's worth, it looked way better on you."

"Ha, thanks."

They fell quiet in their embrace for what could've been seconds or hours. Despite the chilly air, warmth radiated through Adriane's body from wherever they touched. _Fire magic. Useful._

_There's something to this delayed gratification. Masochistic. I want to keep talking; I want to see how long we can last—but before this goes further, I need to know something._

"Hey, how about a game of truth or dare?" Adriane finally broke the silence.

Kara beamed. "That's perfect!"

"Okay, you go first, and you'd better pick truth. I need to ask you something."

"Truth, then." As a necklace pendant, Kara's jewel's strategic position drew Adriane's gaze too far south. She quickly looked up and met Kara's eyes again. _But I'm pretty sure she didn't do that on accident._

"Why?" Adriane asked. "Why me? Why now?"

Kara laughed and brought her lips to Adriane's ear, breath tingling like frost. "Ever since you broke up with Joey, I've been thinking of when I kissed you. I'm sick of ignoring it. I asked you to dance because I couldn't keep going on like this, not knowing where I stand with you," Kara whispered in a fast and excited voice. "And I want it again. That's been in the back of my mind all this time, but I wouldn't let myself think about it until I was waiting for you in the ballroom tonight."

"I've been thinking about it for four years," Adriane tried not to sound bitter. "Hoping that somehow, you'd want to do it again. Every once in a while, I have dreams about it happening over and over. Sometimes we go even further…"

"I'm so sorry. Just tonight, I realized:_ what if she wants me too?_ It wasn't just a light bulb switching on—it was like a supernova—the thought of us together; wanting that just blocked out everything else. Before, I was worried that you were angry with me, maybe ashamed, and that's why you were avoiding me. Now, I was terrified, but when I saw the way you looked at me…I didn't need to be afraid; I didn't need to be careful. We both wanted the same thing."

The wind stirred up a chorus of rustling trees and swirled fallen leaves through the air.

Adriane couldn't hold back anymore. She pressed her lips to Kara's neck and felt a laughing gasp rise through her throat.

"Hey! You broke the rules."

Adriane pulled back just enough to say: "Well you didn't answer my question: why me? Why did kissing _me_ stick with you for so long?" She lightly ran her tongue just below Kara's jaw.

"Why? Because you're _Adriane_. You're my best friend and I love you and we never agree on anything, but you make life a hell of a lot more fun."

"Does me being a girl not bother you?"

"If I tell myself that you're an exception to the rule, I feel a lot less…confused. What about you?"

"Girls, guys, I'm picky in a lot of ways, but not that one."

Kara tensed as Adriane's teeth pinched her neck, but pulled Adriane's hips tighter against hers. "Somehow, I always figured that. Okay, your turn: truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"When did you decide it was okay to like a shallow blonde cheerleader?"

"Oh, it's never okay to like shallow blonde cheerleaders. I just stopped caring," Adriane said in between kisses and nips. "But I don't know exactly when. Probably after I stopped being jealous."

"No way. You weren't jealous of me. Really?"

"Are you being sarcastic? You're rich, gorgeous, and popular. The magic loves you. Who wouldn't be jealous? I felt like a traitor to outcast-dom just thinking about liking you."

"Why would you be jealous of that? You don't need money. You don't need people to like you. You don't need to be hot—I mean, not that you're not, but—ow! Damn, Xena, don't bite so hard."

"Sorry, sorry. I get it," Adriane smiled against Kara's neck.

"What I mean is that you've never needed any of that to be happy—and the magic might like me better, but it _listens_ to you. I could never control it they way you can. And honestly, I've always been a little jealous of that. I just _have_ stuff; you can _do_ stuff that I could never do."

_Of all the things that I've never expected to hear in my entire life, Kara Davies being jealous of me just tops it._

The thirsty fountain's gurgling filled a moment of silence.

"Barbie, I'm so shocked that I'm going to faint." Adriane stepped back, drawing Kara with her, until she felt the stone bench on her calves. "Actually, my feet just hurt."

Arms around her waist, Adriane pulled Kara to her lap as she lowered herself onto the bench. She kicked off the pinching shoes and they landed softly in the grass.

"But they're such cute heels," Kara said with mock dismay.

"Yeah, adorably blistering. Don't be jealous, Barbie. You're okay the way you are." Jewel glowing silver with a vein of blue, Adriane touched a finger to the dark red spot on Kara's neck.

"Oh, just okay? Wait, what are you doing?"

"Healing what's going to be a nasty hickey. I'm not a fan of leaving bruises on people."

"Bulwoggles and manticores would disagree."

"People who aren't bloodthirsty monsters." Blue light pulsed at Kara's neck, shrinking the dark spot until it disappeared. "All clear."

"Aw, what if I wanted to keep it?"

"Your friends and your brother would never shut up."

"I could cover it with makeup."

"If you're going to whine, I'll make you another one." Adriane went to her neck again, but Kara's hand covered her lips.

"Nah, I'd rather have variety." Kara pulled herself closer and slowly stroked the back of Adriane's neck, as one of Adriane's hands slid below Kara's hip while the other entwined itself in her hair. With a crafty smile, Kara leaned in. _Finally._ Adriane closed her eyes and opened her lips just as Kara's mouth covered hers.

There was nothing tentative like the first time. The moment they touched, Kara kissed her hard and deeply, and Adriane drew back for only short gasping breaths before joining with her again. Adriane's tongue slipped into her mouth and twisted with Kara's as they groped feverishly at each other's bodies. A cold breeze invaded Adriane's light strapless dress; she pulled Kara closer for warmth, until she felt Kara's breasts rise and fall against hers and imagined that she could feel a faint heartbeat.

Before she realized what happened, Adriane lay on her back, sprawled across the stone bench with something heavy on her hips. Her eyes flew open to find Kara straddling her and wearing that same clever smile as her red dress rode dangerously up her thighs.

"You let your guard down."

"Because I should be paranoid when I'm making out with someone." Adriane rolled her eyes.

"I'm pretty devious. You never know what I'll try to pull." Kara grasped Adriane by the shoulders, as if she needed to hold her down. "It's my turn now. You're too rough."

"Do your worst."

Kara leaned down at the most cleavage-baring angle possible, giving Adriane a clear view of everything lit up by her pink-pulsing jewel before she kissed her softly on the lips, then did the same to her chin and worked quickly down her neck. Adriane tried to restrain herself from laughing or quivering at the ticklish touch of Kara's lips and hair strewn across her bare skin.

Kara hesitated at the top of her chest.

"Hey, I was enjoying that," Adriane said with faux-anger.

"Sorry I stopped, it's just…how are we going to explain this. I mean, to Emily and everyone else. How will they react?"

Adriane felt Kara's lips smile against her skin. "Between the empathy and mind-reading powers, Emily won't be surprised. She's been dropping hints about it for a while, but you know her: too discrete. Ozzie—"

"—Will be shocked, but he'll get over it. And Lorren and Zach have no right to complain, after _their_ thing."

"They won't be complaining; they'll be amused," Adriane said.

"It'll be awkward with Marlin."

"Everything's awkward with Marlin. Tasha will want to study the effects of relationships on how well mages mix auras or something."

A loud crow's caw startled them both. Adriane looked up to see the huge bird flying over, silhouetted against the moon.

"Hey, do you remember mixing our auras?" Kara whispered. "It was amazing, the most surreal thing I've ever felt."

Adriane did remember. It had spun her like a roller coaster ride: she fell thrillingly close to losing herself, but trusted Kara to move with her and take her thoughts and magic without judging or resisting, just as Adriane did for her. The rush and reassurance of something frightening but safe: she loved it.

"You want to do it again?"

"Please." As soon as Kara spoke, silver and gold light engulfed her jewel.

"I've always wanted to try it directly—no merging a little bit of magic first, just all at once through our jewels."

Kara cautiously took Adriane's right wrist and wrapped her jewel in pink and white. "Are you sure? Isn't this more unstable."

"Yeah, but we've never been more…in tune with each other before. You get your experiment; I get mine. We'll report the data to Tasha."

"Fine, fine—and _no_ to that last one."

Slowly, as if running through water, Adriane pushed her magic into Kara's as she felt Kara's do the same to hers.

Kara moved down her chest with slow and lingering kisses. Wispy clouds floated over the moon; Adriane stared at the sky bordered with rose bushes, trying to calm her heart that beat faster and faster as Kara's lips drifted further down.

_Concentrate, concentrate._ They filled each other with foreign magic. Kara's aura spun with her own and surged fire magic through Adriane's veins. In burning streams, it flooded and receded like the tide inside her chest, weathering her resolve to grains of sand. _That's not helping._

Kara paused just before Adriane's dress began, with her breath dancing over her in hot waves. Adriane laid a free hand on her own chest and lightly brushed her fingers to Kara's cheek. The top of the strapless satin dress moved smoothly against Adriane's fingertips while she toyed with it, slipping it up and down—and then even lower. Her heart and magic churned like a tempest in anticipation of where Kara's hands and mouth would travel next.

Suddenly, Kara pressed her lips to the newly-naked skin; Adriane's gasp deepened the kiss.

Her magic boiled over with a flash of golden light that forced her body and aura to recoil; her eyes squeezed shut. Kara clenched against her as her magic too snapped back. Someone screamed, maybe both.

It sizzled flat as quickly as it had ruptured.

"Are you okay? Damn level three." Still lying on the bench, Adriane turned her head so Kara couldn't see her embarrassment. "So unstable."

Kara's body shook with laughter on top of hers. "It's just a bad night for that. My fault, really. That was a little too…far." Kara pulled Adriane and herself upright; Adriane leaned in and quickly ran her tongue across Kara's lips.

"No," Adriane said quickly. "Just too sudden. If you did it again, when we weren't trying some advanced feat of magic…."

"An advanced feat of magic that we'll try again some other time." Kara pushed her tongue into Adriane's mouth.

Adriane pulled back just enough to speak. "Too bad, Barbie. I'm really curious about what's in your head tonight."

"Me too." Kara grinned deviously. "Tell me, Xena: if I saw your mind, what would it be thinking about?"

"You'd like it better if I showed you." Adriane returned the grin. She took Kara's face in her hands and kissed her deeply. _My turn again._


End file.
